My Safe Place
One chilly October Sunday morning I walked into the sanctuary with a heavy heart: Feeling depressed and overwhelmed by life’s seemingly toughest experiences. I struggled just to make it out to Church that day. There was a sense of warmth which emanated from the smiles on each person’s face that quickly overpowered the chill.
To begin, one of the intercessors ardently and prophetically prayed. Everyone was in agreement with her prayer with exuberant shouts of praise and adoration unto Almighty God. Expectantly, I felt His presence and I knew I was in a holy place.
The worship team then took over and the worship leader continued to usher everyone into a deeper dimension of worship as the musicians played skilfully upon their various instruments. Everyone danced with all his/her might and sang unto God with voices of triumph. The expressions on each’ face reflected the freedom with which Christ has made him/her free. Overwhelmed by the peace and joy of the Lord, there were several expressions of worship unto God: Some bowed their knees, some cried, some were prostrate before the King of Glory, hands were lifted in surrender and praise and some clapped their hands.
Suddenly, the worship leader began to sing the song “The Power of Your Love”. Immediately, I felt a holy reverence and was enveloped in the love of God which began to nullify the pain I felt within. The words of the song penetrated the very core of my being. Especially the lines that sang, “Lord I’ve come to know, the weaknesses I see in me, will be stripped away by the power of Your love” and “Lord renew my mind, as Your will unfolds in my life, in living every day by the power of Your love”.
My only response then was to absolutely yield to the power of God’s love with an attitude of thanksgiving, praise and worship to the One whose love covers me; the One who loves me with a love that is perfect, unconditional, everlasting, never failing, faithful, true, tender, merciful, never changing, always enduring, and my source of strength when my heart is failing. I was reassured there and then of God’s love for me and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that His love will carry me through. For according to John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” I knelt at the alter and wept as I prayerfully sang the song and reflected on the fact that I am loved.
Earlier that Sunday morning while in the shower, I cried hysterically plagued by feeling of sadness. My thoughts were “no one loves me, not even God”, “I am a bad and evil person”, “I could never do anything right”, “God is punishing me for what I do not know”, “I have failed and disappointed God”, “I should be ashamed of my life’s experiences”, “every unpleasant experience I have had was my fault”, “I will never be normal”, “what is the point in living”…just to name a few. Simply to enter the only place I feel safe and am able to freely express myself, to be flabbergasted by the power of God’s love. Oh! How I am amazed by my Heavenly Father and how He loves me. A love I struggled to accept because I never felt loved by my earthly father. Neither did I feel that anyone would really love me, though many have expressed their love for me.
I later realised that my aforementioned thoughts were mere cognitive distortions due to my emotional state at that point in time. The reason the highlighted lines of the song mentioned above had such a great impact on me. I needed my mind to be renewed in order for my life to be transformed by the power of God’s love.
Today I can really say that I know my Daddy loves me! He loves you too.
