The Antidote for Anxiety and Depression: Trust in Abba Father’s Care – Pt 17
God is With You Always!
And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.
– Deuteronomy 31:8
When I went to the University of the West Indies (UWI) Cave Hill Campus in Barbados to pursue studies for my bachelor’s degree I was so elated. I always wanted to attend university even though I knew financially it seemed impossible so I kept hope alive. I arrived in Barbados and settled down quite nicely with the help of an amazing friend who accommodated me. I started classes and all seemed well. Then about a month later, I was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital on Ward C4 which is a psychiatric ward, where I was treated for major depression, anxiety disorder, and the eating disorder anorexia nervosa.
What happened? How did I end up being hospitalized on a psychiatric ward? Fear grabbed hold of me. I was afraid of failing among other things. Hence, I stopped going to classes and stayed in the apartment. Before I knew it, I was not eating as I should. I was not sleeping as I should. I cried hysterically at nights and I did not know why I was crying. The nights seemed very long, yet I dreaded the mornings. I did not want to get out of bed on mornings or at all for that matter. I found myself in the fetus position and I couldn’t straighten myself. I felt safe in that position. I did not want to take showers. I began to see things and hear voices that were not real. I had recurring ideations of suicide. However, I did not think that anything was wrong with me. Thanks to my friend who had observed that I was not well and intervened or I would not have gotten the help I needed.
At the hospital I was noncompliant with the doctors because I believed that nothing was wrong with me and that I did not belong on that psychiatric ward. Due to the severity of my mental ill health I was advised by the psychiatrists not to continue studies and I was told that I needed to be on medications for the rest of my life. I was told that I am “prone to depression” and it would not take much to trigger me off. Hence, I returned home a few months later.
When I got home, I decided to try something different. Something that I did not think I could have done before. As a result, I rented a space at Mr. P’s salon where I did nails (manicure, pedicure, and acrylic nail extensions) for a few months. There I had the opportunity to pamper my clients, listen to many share their hearts’ concerns, as well as offer them counsel, at no additional cost. Nevertheless, I could not stop thinking about completing my degree and I strongly believed that I could do it. Therefore, with the guidance of the psychiatrist at the university’s students’ support services department, who assured me that continuing to study can be for me a form of therapy, and that the university has excellent support structures to assist me during my studies, I went back to university. Then for the three year duration of the programme, I was able to successfully complete my bachelor’s degree with the assistance of the psychiatrist and the counsellor whom I saw every week, as well as a few lecturers who made sure that I caught up with the work the times when I was absent as a result of not being well.
Looking back at my experiences mentioned above, I am convinced God went before me and made the provision that I needed for medical care and to continue my studies, that God was with me and He helped me to have good success. He has also helped me to pursue studies at the masters’ level and I am looking forward to pursuing doctoral studies soon with His continued help. All of which I have accomplished and will accomplish after I was told by the psychiatrists at the hospital that I should not continue studies because it will contribute to depression and anxiety.
Moses told the children of Israel in Deuteronomy 31:8, “And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed”.
I believe that just as Moses assured the children of Israel that God went before to prepare the way for them, that God will be with them, and that God will not fail them nor forsake them, you too can receive this promise and be assured that whatever your situations are, God will go before you, He is with you and He will continue to be with you, He will not fail you nor forsake you.
He will go before you because He is your guide. He will lead you into all truth because He is the Spirit of Truth (John 16:13). He will be with you because He is your Jehovah Shammah and the Omnipresent God as mentioned in previous devotions. He will not fail you nor abandon you because He is your “Good, Good Father”. Therefore, you need not fear or be discouraged. You can face your situations with confidence knowing that you will have good success because greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. What He has done for the children of Israel and for me, He will do for you. Victory in Jesus is yours. Claim it today!
Shalom!
MY PRAYER FOR TODAY
Heavenly Father oh how I honour You just because You are my Jehovah Shammah – the only One who is with me always. You never fail nor forsake me. I thank You for You presence. For in Your presence there is fullness of joy. I declare today that my ever present Papa makes a way for me and guides me along the way. Hence, I am fearless, bold, courageous and victorious in Christ. I pray this by faith in Jesus’ name with thanksgiving. Amen!
